"I find it a bit challenging to keep up with everything at the moment, but I believe it is necessary to keep speaking. I try not to ask myself too many questions, fortunately." Caroline Darian chose as her alias a contraction of her brothers' names, David and Florian. It was a way to protect herself, yes, but also a statement of intent. The daughter of Gisèle and Dominique Pelicot did not have to give up her father's surname when she decided to stop using it, as she had already taken her husband's name when she got married, but she built an empowered alter ego through sibling love to face her reconstruction and, in the process, turn her personal journey into something useful for society.
Under that alias, she has published her second book in Spain, So that it is not forgotten (Seix Barral), a detailed analysis of the trial that forever changed the perception of chemical submission; also, a foundational manifesto of her association against sexual violence M'endors pas (don't make me sleep); but above all, a cry for help aggravated by uncertainty. «An eternal hell», as described by Gisèle Pelicot in an interview with EL MUNDO.
Caroline Darian's family was shattered on November 2, 2020, when her mother discovered that for a decade she had been the sleeping sexual toy of over fifty men, including her husband, who orchestrated the horror show through a contact website. Caroline Darian's life, the peace of mind of a successful professional and moderately happy family woman, completely collapsed the next day when she was shown two photographs taken between 2016 and 2019 of an unconscious and half-naked woman found in the deleted files on her father's computer, inside a folder titled My daughter naked.
She immediately knew that Dominique Pelicot had also raped her. "He didn't just take photos of me. I am absolutely convinced. Considering what he did to my mother, the atrocity he subjected her to, who would expect any kind of restraint regarding his daughter?" she rages in front of the computer camera. Caroline Darian responds to the video call from somewhere in the Paris region, in a sober and dimly lit room, between meetings. "All this hustle is a bit overwhelming. But well, I manage to handle it." The 47-year-old woman's expression is severe. Her language is harsh and direct, not hiding that she is very, very angry. «I want to be recognized as a victim of my father», she states.
She is currently immersed in the arduous battle against the insurmountable wall of lack of evidence, waiting for the progress of the lawsuit she filed against him a year ago in the same court in Avignon that sentenced him to 20 years for the case that dubbed him the monster of Mazan. "We have no news. I last testified on November 25, and since then, I have not heard anything," she laments. "My impression is that the Avignon Prosecutor's Office focused on my mother's case, where there was enough evidence, and does not consider my case a priority. Given the magnitude of the investigation, that was Gisèle's trial, not Caroline's. I am the forgotten one in this case."
Last summer, Dominique Pelicot flatly rejected a possible visit from his daughter in prison: "Since I no longer exist for her, she does not exist for me... Face to face and looking her in the eyes, I would repeat exactly the same: I did nothing to her. Just as she said in court, let me die like a dog." The note he sent through his lawyer came as a cold shower to Caroline's only hope of finding peace in certainty. "He does not have the courage to face me. He has never given a rational explanation for those photos. Never. First, he said he did not remember taking them. Then, he claimed they were the result of blackmail. He even sowed doubt: 'Who says that is my daughter?'. And now he refuses to see me. He has been locked up in nine square meters for five years, but, in a way, he has also imprisoned me. It is a way to keep having power. He is the only one who knows what happened. But I am not the neighbour across the street, I am his daughter. And he is winning again."
-What does Dominique Pelicot mean to you today?
-He is a coward, a monster. And also, a manipulator. It's not me saying it, but the seven psychiatric evaluations he has undergone. They all highlight his coldness, his lack of empathy. You cannot do what he did with a normal hard drive. And I am convinced that my mother's case is just the tip of the iceberg of horrors.
"My mother was not there for me when I needed her. She was not the only one suffering. She has not yet come to terms with who she was married to"
Caroline Darian's account of a trial that, she believes, did not deliver justice, is at times harsh towards her own mother, from whom she had been estranged for almost two years until they reunited, first through long phone conversations and then in person with March 8th as a symbolic backdrop. "I think she has finally understood that she was not there for me. It took her time to realize that she was not the only one suffering," she says. "We are very different. In her place, I don't think I would still be alive."
-She wants to visit her ex-husband in prison. Will you accompany her?
-She believes that Dominique Pelicot will give her answers, but she is mistaken. My mother has been manipulated for 50 years. She has separated her life from this episode and will not achieve anything. He has no interest in easing our suffering.
-Does Gisèle believe that your father abused you?
-She focuses on the evidence, and for now, there is none. So I suppose, for her, it is better to conclude that it did not happen. It would be much harder to face the truth and admit that she could not protect her daughter. She has not fully come to terms with who she was married to.
The main point of contention between them revolves around the concept of victim: Gisèle rejects it once the case is closed; Caroline fears she may never be able to reach it. "For four years, I have been saying loud and clear that I am a victim of my father, and no one recognizes me as such. Not even him," she says. «And he is my father, he owes it to me».