"I love my morning routine: it prepares me to have a great day!" explained Cindy Crawford in the brief post text that has set social media on fire in recent days. "I love it too, dear... But it is incompatible with my life," I thought when I saw it.
Before being labeled as envious, let it be known that I adore Crawford, who I have always considered a natural wonder and who, in my opinion, embodies a healthy, strong, and radiant maturity worthy of all praise. That doesn't change the fact that I found quite amusing - to put it mildly - the natural way in which she visually narrated her morning routine as if it were within reach of every ordinary woman. They say that comparisons are odious, but I just saw her post while brushing my teeth after finishing my first cup of coffee of the day, preparing lunch, unloading the dishwasher, and putting fabric softener in the washing machine, taking advantage of the time of day when electricity was cheaper and finally, there was sunny weather to hang the laundry.
On my way to work, after asserting myself in the alleged 1,666 square centimeters that we supposedly enjoy on the Metro during rush hour, I took another look at Cindy's video. In an unusually concentrated effort for me, I tried to compare her morning routine with mine, which is a kind of adaptation to real life (with more or less success) of what experts recommend.
6:00 am. Cindy wakes up and, dressed in an ideal nightgown, sensually stretches while sitting on the bed. I am still half asleep.
6:05 am. She dry brushes her impressive physique while listening to a Bible app. I start to wake up (usually before the alarm goes off) and sometimes I stay in bed for a few minutes analyzing the dreams I had, which usually take place in Lanzarote.
6:30 am. Cindy cleans her face and uses the Gua Sha, a stone used in traditional Chinese medicine to gently scrape the skin, improving circulation and lymphatic drainage. This reduces the typical morning facial swelling, relieves muscle tension, and enhances luminosity. I sit on the edge of the bed to stretch and look for my socks.
6:45 am. Crawford puts on her Capillus laser hair growth cap, which costs no less than $2,000, on her Bermer mat, a device that uses pulsed electromagnetic field technology (PEMF) - around $800 - to stimulate muscles, temporarily increase blood flow, and enhance local circulation for better performance and recovery. Right after, she uses the Keren Bartov red light device (costs about $1,600) on her face.
After a good not-so-cold glass of water, I dive headfirst into my black coffee (even though I know I should wait half an hour to let the new day's light naturally wake up my body) while finishing preparing the lunch I left half-done the night before and running the dishwasher or washing machine or both at the same time (due to the off-peak electricity I mentioned earlier and such).
7:00 am. Cindy takes a spoonful of apple cider vinegar - supposedly, besides improving digestion, it helps with weight loss by increasing satiety and regulating blood sugar levels - and makes a disgusted face afterward. I'm already on my second coffee and still moving around.
7:05 am. The iconic American model practices 'grounding', walking barefoot on the meticulously cared-for grass of her mansion. Why does she do that? Because, in that way, she supposedly stabilizes the body's electrical energy by coming into direct contact with the Earth's surface, releasing stress, regulating emotions, combating oxidation, and reducing inflammation.
Lacking a garden, my morning 'grounding' is reduced to moving as quietly as possible around my house because the wooden floor is very old and creaks almost as much as my knees (which is saying something).
7:15 am. Cindy gets into the jacuzzi. I check that my kids are already up and about while I continue with my tasks. After washing my face with cold water, I apply toner, serum, and moisturizer (saving the sunscreen for after working out).
7:30 am. Crawford doubles up on 'grounding' on the grass... I continue with my routine.
7:40 am. She is already dressed for training. So am I.
7:45 am. She has a collagen coffee. I resist having a third one for the day.
7:50 am. Cindy checks her emails. I rush out because I have just enough time to go to the gym, and lacking home red light devices, I try to expose myself to those first rays of sunlight of the day that feel so good in spring and summer. I could also take advantage of the walk and go barefoot in the park right in front, but I can't deviate, and honestly, I don't want to risk stepping on any undesirable elements. There's not a minute to lose!
8:00 am. She heads straight to her spectacular home gym. By that time, I'm already greeting Kike, the morning instructor at my sports club. Here, clearly, I come out ahead because while Crawford trains alone, I take advantage of the breaks between sets to engage in impromptu quick chats with my workout buddies, putting into practice one of the most repeated pieces of advice from specialists in quality of life and longevity: cultivating social relationships.
8:05 am. Fitness miracles, at this point, we both do the same thing: we start the training session with stretching and joint mobility exercises. Fantastic!
8:20 am. She stretches her back on the inverted hyperextension machine. I, after warming up, am already immersed in my strength routines mixed with mobility, balance, and flexibility exercises. Time is of the essence!
8:30 am. Crawford warms up by jumping on a trampoline until her pilates instructor arrives. I, in the best-case scenario, make the most of the 15 minutes left before 'my carriage turns into a pumpkin' to finish with some cardio. It's the prelude to a quick shower topped with cold water and a good breakfast that usually includes eggs and avocado.
From that moment on, the model concludes her comprehensive (and very long) morning self-care routine, which surely continues with an invigorating shower in a dream bathroom, a nutritious breakfast by the sea, and who knows, maybe even a relaxing massage. I, honestly, prefer not to go into more details because the rest is already known or assumed. "I love my morning routine," says Cindy Crawford. And I'm not surprised at all. Although, to be honest, I am also very happy with mine (and that's what matters).