Nobody in their right mind desires to be Pope. Nobody with access to the conclave has stopped fantasizing about the possibility. The first sentence was uttered by a real cardinal: the Madrilenian José Cobo. The second comes from the script of Conclave, the movie that has captivated those whose contact with the Church is limited to the priest's sermon at grandma's funeral. The reality, naturally, is closer to the fear of the cardinal from Madrid than to the impressionable retina of the Netflix addict. It is no wonder that the weight of the purple is spoken of.
Purple is a precious pigment obtained from the mucous secretions of glands hidden in the rectum of certain marine mollusks. To obtain just one gram of purple, about 10,000 snails ("cañaíllas" in Andalusian) had to be sacrificed: hence its exorbitant price. The fact is that the highly esteemed crimson dignity that emperors and cardinals coveted literally came from the snail's butt slime. Perhaps one can draw a lesson of humility from such a paradox very much in line with the gospel.
When you read this, 133 cardinals will have already secluded themselves in the Santa Marta residence. This will happen between seven and ten in the morning on Wednesday, when Saint Peter will host the solemn mass pro eligendo Pontifice. The focal point envisioned by Bernini in the breaking of glory of the apse will then take on its full scenic meaning: a cloud of bronze, glass, and gold will filter the Spirit's light that magically sustains the papal throne. The elector cardinals will raise their eyes towards it in the hope of being touched by inspiration. After lunch, they will begin to march towards the Sistine Chapel. "Extra omnes!" ("Everyone out!"), the master of liturgical ceremonies of the Vatican, Don Diego Ravelli, will order at that moment, not to be confused with the camerlengo Farrell or the dean Re. Around five o'clock, the first vote will take place. It is normal for this exploratory smoke to be black as the soul of a writer of talking points. On Thursday, four votes will already be held: things will become clearer until the final white smoke.
Expanding on the topic of the papabile who emerges as a cardinal from the Sistine Chapel, five names top the surveys. The topic will condemn them to the purple in exchange for sparing them the greater punishment of the tiara. They are Parolin, Tagle, Pizzaballa, Zuppi, and Erdö. For the first two, so widely publicized, barely 3.5 euros are paid for each euro bet at the venerable William Hill.
However, my source in the Curia whispers three names that would be worth paying attention to. Precisely because they have not received enough attention. They are Jean-Marc Aveline, from French Algeria of Zidane and Camus; Robert Prevost, an Augustinian born in Chicago and seasoned in Peru; and the Asturian Ángel Fernández Artime, whom we mention to honor our homeland and because he is a Salesian, an order founded by Juan Bosco, one of those archetypal saints who would be well-received even by the most secular of our self-proclaimed intellectuals.
Be patient with the excesses of the Vatican experts, dear reader. Consider that a Vatican expert is an impartial reporter, a mix of special envoy and astrologer, who works once a decade and is not contradicted even by God. Basically because God is too busy during the conclave.